10 Conversations Every Couple Needs to Have

couple walking together

Starting a relationship and starting a marriage can appear to be the most natural and easy thing in the world. You feel the attraction. Generally speaking, they enjoy one other’s company. In the honeymoon phase, not much more thought goes into it than that. Once that honeymoon phase has fizzled and life has taken over, preserving a happy and successful relationship demands conscious effort.

It’s essential to understand where you and your spouse stand on issues, as well as how significant those positions are to each other. Life as a couple can be difficult at times. Each individual has a different nature. Some people can’t stand to be alone while others enjoy solitude. The best approach to learn these things about each other is to talk to each other; to share the whole picture through meaningful and intentional dialogue.

1. The Future

Yes, your future as a couple, but also the future in general. Where do you see yourself in a year? 5 years? 10 years? Where do they see themselves. It is easy to be blinded by the honeymoon phase and just think “together,” but you need to figure out if these futures can intertwine or will somebody need to compromise (and is that a compromise that you or they really want to make without strings of resentment).

2. Faith

Another thing that is VERY important to know is where your partner stands with their faith. Are they strong in their faith? Do you share the same faith? In this day and age, there are many happy interfaith relationships and marriages, but they present a unique set of obstacles that are very important to discuss for a happy and healthy relationship.

3. Parenting

Most couples have the “do you want kids?” conversation at some point, but it is important to take it further than that. No, I don’t just mean “how many?” (although, that is a very important question too), but to talk about what kind of parenting styles you see for yourselves.

Do you see yourself as a stay at home parent? More crunchy? Less crunchy? Religious upbringing? Parenting is such an important topic and presents opportunity for even the most minor of disagreements to be catastrophic that it is vital to have an understanding as to where you each stand on things (before the jump to starting a family). Make sure you are on the same page and that your differences are compatible, without thinking about changing his personality. Listen to all points of view.

Read also: 8 Ways To Bring Happiness Into Your Marriage

4. Political Stances

Politics aren’t generally a conversation for new couples, but it is important to know where each other stand. Most people are steadfast in their political beliefs and it can lead to some pretty nasty “are you serious?” conflicts if the two of you are not on the same page on most of the larger topics.

5. Sex

Sex may be an awkward and uncomfortable topic (or maybe it’s just an awkward and uncomfortable topic for me), but knowing what your partner likes (and doesn’t like), limitations and curiosities can make private time much more comfortable and fulfilling for you both.

6. Money

Chances are, it doesn’t take too long to get a general idea of what your partner makes and where that money is spent, but it is a very important thing to discuss, with finances being one of the leading causes for divorce (around 45%).

What are your professional ambitions, current and future roles, and therefore how much time will you be able to devote to your family? Will you both be employed full-time? Do you know how to deal with everyday stress and avoid unneeded and harmful tensions? Consider the lifestyle you desire and how to make it fit with your job.

7. What makes each other happy

This is one of those “Thank You Mrs. State-the-Obvious” things that tends to get lost as time goes on and life takes over. It is important to express the things that bring you joy and to listen to what brings your partner joy (especially since these things are likely to change over time and with different stages). Make sure that you make these things a priority because they tend to get lost in the routine of day-to-day life.

Read also: 14 Ways to Make Yourself Feel Happier

8. What bothers each other

Knowing what bothers each other is just as important as knowing what makes each other happy. We often just assume that our partners know what bothers us without having ever expressed it (GUILTY!). Expressing these things in conversation before it is an issue can prevent a lot of conflict.

9. Division of labor

You and your partner need to know and understand what each of you expects is you your role and job in the household. Will one work outside the home and the other tend the home? Will everything be divided equally? Knowing and expressing these expectations upfront can also prevent quite a bit of conflict and hurt feelings.

10. Nothing

Conversations about nothing can teach us a lot about each other. Many things that you would have never thought to ask come out in a conversation about nothing.

Conclusion

Every marriage has problems, and it’s natural for them to fight now and then. The most essential thing is to learn how to communicate while respecting each other’s perspectives in order to resolve your disputes without causing harm to one another.

Also avoid annoying issues. There are some issues that are difficult to talk about. For example, You must not pass judgement on your spouse, family, or friends. Whatever he or she says, if you do the same, he or she won’t be able to bear it. Nor should you fix the other person in an image by asserting, “But anyway you are always like that.” No one changes if they feel labeled.” But it’s not just words that can be disturbing.

Some people are impulsive and speak whatever comes to mind right away, while others take time to consider things through. Agree on how you wish to handle disagreements. Putting off some problems will lead to situations that can be resolved simply by talking. It is therefore advisable to take the time to talk calmly about disagreements. It is not as simple as discussing your wedding hall décor or drafting love texts for the big day, but it is an important aspect for a long-term understanding.

Kara

I’m a writer, new mom and foodie. I love sharing what I know while making others feel beautiful. On this blog, I share my healthy lifestyle, simple meals, fitness tips and experiences.

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